MONTHLY TAROT VIDEOS by The Lilac Broom

 Hello my fans and friends alike!

This blog entry today will be about my videos that I make for YouTube.

 

“ Be bold, be brave enough to be your true self.” 

Queen Latifah

From a very young age (an age of consciousness), any human will feel inadequate stepping in front of an audience.  I have experience in front of audiences of all sizes.  As a college student I often performed for large crowds as a singer, dancer and entertainer.  Later I became a very good orator.  I am a confident public speaker.  That skill translated to amazing success in Property Management for me.  Being able to command a room of angry people or to combat a group of "entitled" and angry people, and get two sides to merge....these are skills I easily drop on the bucket and say, "been there, done that- what's next?"

Creating Videos and publishing them, videos where I channel a spiritual message or share my knowledge of the "Otherworld"- this is something altogether new for me. It's just one more thing that I am doing that is pushing me out of my comfort zone in 2020/2021.  I am learning that it takes a LOT of practice, a lot of time and a LOT of energy to produce a quality video.  Making 12 of these a month is hard work.  And 12 is just the tip of the iceberg!  I had planned to make weekly videos but I never receive any decent feedback on them so I have decided that they are useless.

But my monthly Tarot Readings by Zodiac sign seem to be popular enough that I will keep going with them.

Today is March 9, 2021 and I have only completed 4 Videos for March!  Clearly I am way behind right now.  But I am also very proud of the fact that I completed January and February plus 12 Yearly Tarot readings.  As I said when I set out on this path...it is a process and I will keep building until I am good at it.  It's not that I need practice reading people's cards.  I have been doing that part since 2008. But when you are trying to produce a video and a myriad of things are not coming together at once, it gets weird.  I once had to make the same Zodiac Video four times!  Each reading was different from the last.  I found myself struggling because I liked the content in video one, but video four came out best...so what do I do?  And mind you- if you have had to recreate one of 12 videos four different times, just think about how long that ONE video took to create?

Even through these challenges, I am SO HAPPY that I finally created my YouTube Channel!  I love it.  I really love it.

I have 15 SUBSCRIBERS.  15 beautiful souls who want to know when I have created content.  I LOVE MY 15 subscribers!  I don't want to let them down.

I am not a Christian, but I am often aware of something (a concept) that I learned from the Bible.

" To quote from the Bible, 'Now Jesus himself had pointed out that a prophet has no honour in his own country' (John 4:44). Christ also said 'no prophet is accepted in his home town' (Luke 4:16-30), and 'Only in his home town and in his own house is a prophet without honour' "

I often find that when any person recreates themselves- sets a new standard of "Me" for themselves...they are completely misunderstood by the people around them in their innermost circle.  That is what is meant by these Bible quotes:  That when you change from how people have always known you, those same people will find it impossible to honor that.

Having suffered great losses in my lifetime, losses through death, losses of friends and entire social circles...I am always afraid to allow myself to move to the next "version of me" that the universe is calling for me to be.

I was born in 1974.  Some of you may understand what it means to be born Indigo.  If you have never heard of that, feel free to research it on your own.  From the time I was around 3 years old (because this is as far back as I can actually remember my own thoughts), I have always had a profound sense that I followed a set of rules that others around me either didn't know existed or that they willfully ignored.

For those of you who understand the effects of trauma and gas-lighting...it was at a very early age that I first experienced these injustices.  I never even knew it until...well maybe this precise second actually.  My MOTHER and father were the first to do it to me by living a lie in their own lives, and making me feel wrong for NOT wanting to live that lie.

LET THAT SINK IN GUYS.

Now...be honest with yourself.  YOU RELATE to that.

That statement resonated with you.

Good.  Now go change yourself.  Or should I say, go find yourself?

My parents were drug addicts.  They lied to everyone, lived a dark secret that they forced us kids to live also.  They neglected us but to this day would deny these things.

My brother joined the military when he graduated high school.  He saw this as a way to get money for his future.  Plus, the connection to his brethren and fellow Marines was always a strong pull.

My sister got pregnant in High school, dropped out of high school, had a second child and then lost parental connection to both children in a matter of just a few years.  She later ended up in jail.

My other sister has been deeply embedded into a marriage that also centers around abuse, drug-use and neglects the children involved.

Then there is me...

Who AM I?

I don't know how to answer that but somewhere within whatever answer I come up with is an explanation of why my life is so DRASTICALLY different from theirs.

I survived.

I escaped.

I suffered alone

I finally began to thrive.

I bloomed, albeit late.  I bloomed.

I hate my given name- "Angel".  I resent the reasons I was named Angel.  I prefer to be called AngelMarie.  When I create I use a fictional name, "Lilac".  Why?  Because I wait for 49 weeks a year to experience the amazingness of a flowering plant that only visits for 3 weeks every Spring.  The aroma of Lilacs brings peace to my soul.  It makes me calm.  It centers me like no other scent ever has or will.  Violets do take a close second to that.  But why was I named Angel?

Let's go back to the gas-lighting and lies of my childhood.  My mother could not deal with her gifts so she drowned them out with alcohol and drugs and lies.  My sisters also have trouble with their gifts, and they ARE in fact very gifted.  But failing to thrive was what we were set up for since childhood!  I really do not blame my siblings for having any pre-disposition to the difficulties they experienced...but at some point in life, one MUST make better choices.

As I age and gain more spiritual understanding, forgiveness comes EASILY...SO EASILY.  I cannot hate.  I cannot really even dislike people.  I DO however, dislike attitudes and behaviors that I find unsavory.  But people CAN and DO change.  And those people will always be honored in my world. It is no longer difficult for me to honor my mother for giving me life.  I accept her as she is.  I do not wish for her to be different for me to benefit from her "motherly" ways.  I am the matriarch of my own family now.

I started producing Tarot Videos when I opened my Tarot Study back in 2016.  The timing was not good for the venture.  My father had become terminally ill...and I was not handling it well.  I was in great despair- as I should have been!  But I was trying to push through the pain and make things happen.  This was not the way...or so I would come to know.  This was NOT the way.  Not the WAY.  So after a year, I closed that studio.  What I learned then, was to WAIT for the right time.  After we bought our house in 2019, Covid came....and during the lockdown months of Covid closures, changes began to reshape my life for me.  I didn't have to do much aside from be BORED out of my mind. That was all it took.

Fast-forward to the very very end of 2021 when I was forced to resign my job because Covid 19 made it impossible for me to support my Special Needs child and work a 9-5.  BEST thing that ever happened to me.  At first, I did the same thing I have done since I was 14- tried desperately to set things back into place in order to "survive".  But inside of me, another thing had been percolating for years and years already...and that "thing" was not about surviving but about thriving.

I found a job...in January.  It easily fit ALL of my criteria for the right job for me.  It was good location, great pay, flexible and nice people.  The job was going to start in March.  But something about it all just felt wrong for me.  So I did what I want you to do- I asked a Spiritual Guide for advice.  She quickly, immediately knew that this decision was just another way for me to NOT grow...not OUTGROW my "norm".  I passes on the job and started a business instead.  And business is going well.  Unlike my first Studio, where I was TRYING to make it grow...this time around, I am happy with the growth, no expectations whatsoever.  My goal is only to be HAPPY and to do what makes me happy.

So THANK YOU!

If you are even reading this blog, you are a part of that.  THANK YOU.  If you look at me and see the real me....THANK YOU.  If you know me, and don't want to change me, THANK YOU!  If you have bought my lotions or my jewelry or had a Private Tarot Reading and found it released something in you...THANK YOU FOR THAT.  Thank yourself.  You did it, not me.  I am after all...just a guide.  The journey is up to you.

~Namaste

Lilac